five years (or ten?) ago companies gave out mousepads and got the desired reaction – “ooh, these guys must be pretty hi-tech!” Once those five minutes were up though, most just dropped them in their schwag bag and moved along. When will someone give out mousepads – but as an ironic gesture? This question arose during a viewing of the extremely questionable Thomas Crown Affair.

I was having a discussion about shooting stuff out your nose (stuff you’ve tried to swallow), which naturally led me to consider brain flossing, and then my mind rested on the thought of R Crumb’s brother Max doing full body floss at the end of Crumb. It’s been that kind of day.

Use any of these 218 varieties of gaffer’s tape. Alternatively, you could use duct (not ‘duck’) tape.

Mechanical Intelligent Construct Hardwired for Assassination and Efficient Learning